Last night’s 90 minute season finale of the Real Housewives of Miami begins with a glimpse of Elsa’s fabulous purple socks which temporarily blinds us with their utter awesomeness. Then we move into a scene where Cristy claims that Adrianna is an attention whore when Adrianna takes the attention away…
What exactly is an X-Factor? An unknown factor in our algebra II class that was only slightly less infuriating than y? The spot on a map where a pirate’s booty is buried? An element a starlet has to take into consideration before dating John Mayer? Or is it something that…
Trend alert! Faux movie trailers. We’re hooked. Last week we pointed to SXSW’s film bumper Super Mario Bros., a Nintendo adaptation that looked like it was directed by Miranda July. This morning, we’ve spotted a movie trailer for Angry Birds the movie – if it were directed by Michael Bay…
In Insidious, which opens this weekend, there is a great deal of prowling motion: a recurring sideways dolly outside an ominous house, a trench-coat-clad cacodemon pacing outside a second-story window. It’s the restless motion of a movie stalking its prey–you, dear viewer. A married couple, Josh and Renai (Patrick Wilson…
You know when you’re little and your mom tells you not to touch the stove? Yet, even though you know it’s hot, you just get the urge to give it a little feel. This is how we look at celebrities who do reality shows. You know things about your past…
Miami is full of zombies. We have Juan Navarro and his web comic series, Zombie Years, Zombie Walk Miami, and even zombie workshops. So it’s no surprise to Cultist that two of our residents have teamed up to create a zombie web series for your viewing pleasure.Welcome to Zombiecast.Stephen Escudero…
Paul is not the third installment in the so-called Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy featuring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, though there are indeed servings of both. Note the one key missing element: Edgar Wright, who directed and co-wrote with Pegg both the 2004 zom-com Shaun of the Dead and…
As 18 to 35-year olds with liberal arts degrees, low-paying gigs, and strong stomachs for celebrity train wrecks, we caught part of Dancing With the Stars earlier this week and realized the ABC reality competition show is way out of touch with our alt demographic. Surely we’re not the only…
This season of Basketball Wives should have been called Evelyn Lozada & Some Basketball Wives. And while the future Mrs. Chad Ochocinco did take a lot of air time, one person who definitely stood out was Miss Royce Reed. You might recognize the tiny ex-Orlando Magic dancer from her very…
Jane Eyre: Cary Fukunaga’s version stresses the pursuit of independence
Kaboom: Beautiful horndogs get blown
Waste Land: A fascinating doc about art and charity
Elizabeth Taylor passed away this morning. We lost another Hollywood icon who might have touched our grandparent’s and parent’s lives more than she did ours, but we still knew her well. It’s a testament to her star power that she continued to make news even well into her 70s. Taylor…
As spacey as its title suggests, Gregg Araki’s latest youth film is an occult mystery set in the ultimate SoCal college playpen. Kaboom is Scooby-Doo with sex, drugs, and tattooed hotties; following on the heels of Araki’s relatively commercial stoner farce Smiley Face (2007), the movie makes you wonder whether…
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Miami was like freebasing Ambien and glitter. It was half Sand Man-approved snore-fest and half WTF?. Seriously, we’re hoping that next week’s 90-minute season finale includes wig pulling, table flipping, or Elsa with an electronic cigarette in tow. Hell, we’ll even settle for…
With their seventh film festival a month away, Borscht just released a video tease showcasing their collaborators for this year’s fest. Sure, we posted the line-up of filmmakers and musicians last month. But perhaps you work too hard at your day job and don’t get out much and those names…
Elsa Patton, the true star of the Real Housewives of Miami, seems to have taken a break from cackling over a bubbling cauldron filled with vodka to prevent the steam from melting off her face start her very own Twitter page and to fork over some personal, pre-op photos of…
In a wintry woodland in an unspecified time long, long ago, teen beauty Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) is arranged to marry brooding, hunky, rich dude Henry (Max Irons), but is plotting to run away with brooding, hunky peasant Peter (Shiloh Fernandez). Then–bummer!–Valerie’s sister is eaten by the werewolf that besieges their…
One of the best things about Miami’s Borscht Film Festival is that so many of the people involved in it are committed to working in South Florida. And it looks like that loyalty is infectious and spreading even to those who left the city for bigger opportunities. Take Josie Loren,…
“I feel like this outfit screams ‘I’ve been living in Ohio for the past three years. Take me to your gross apartment and have sex with me,” Aura complains in recent indie hit Tiny Furniture. Comedies of humiliation are usually bred in the minds of those much older and male…
As Lord of the Dance 3D opens tonight for a one-week run at Regal Cinemas Lincoln Road, here’s a quick review: Michael Flatley knows what you think of him. He’s heard it all–cantering megalomaniac, spotlight-humping hambone–and he’s here to tell you that he’s selling out stages around the world without…
Paul: Nick Frost and Simon Pegg’s stab at sci-fi
