PETA and Thanksgiving: Talking Turkey

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, has a long history of being controversial. Their polarizing anti-meat, anti-research, and anti-fur campaigns can be harsh, in-your-face, and brilliant.  And there’s no better time for PETA to activate its campaign machine than during Thanksgiving, a holiday that revolves around a…

Leave The Damn Turkey Alone!

Each year for this day they give up their livesWe eat them right down to the boneSo lay off the peach glaze, teriyaki and chivesLeave the damn turkey alone!Natives of India, by all means use curryTo season and uplift your birdIf Japan is your homeland I wouldn’t worryIf you smeared…

Judging the Burgies: 22 Burgers in Two Hours (Photos)

When Burger Beast Sef Gonzalez asked me to be a judge at the third annual Burgie Awards, I said sure. I’ve judged a few competitions. They’re usually fun, you get a badge, and you meet some new people. When you’re asked to oversee a burger competition, you naturally assume you’ll…

Stynx, Shark Teeth, and the Funnest Guy at the Racetrack

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Qmilch: Make Your New Jeans From Milk

Cotton, silk, flax, hemp — all of those natural materials are used to make fabric. But now milk? German fashion designer and microbiologist Anka Domaske and a small team of researchers at the Fiber Institute at the University of Bremen successfully invented a textile made of milk, according to the…

Chili’s Can Be Rude — Stop Throwing Away Your Food!

I love free stuff, Groupon, discounts, hook ups, and so on. But my obsession with not throwing away food when there is some other use for it stems from more than the fact I like to save a little coin.Americans generate more than 34 million tons of food waste annually…

Kim Kardashian’s Next Husband Is Gonna Be…

Luther “Luke” Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has some relationship advice for Kim Kardashian.It shouldn’t surprise anyone interested in celebrity culture that Kim Kardashian…

Corina Esquijarosa Resigns As North Bay Village Mayor

The North Bay Village mayor is throwing in the towel. Corina Esquijarosa resigned today, leaving office one year after winning a close election. Her decision comes on the heels of a successful petition drive to hold a recall election against her and a criminal probe into her falsely claiming a…

The Simpsons Are Food Bloggers: It’s Not That Easy (Video)

I’ve been waiting with baited breath for the day to finally arrive. “The Food Wife”, the long awaited Simpsons episode which has Marge, Lisa, and Bart food blogging, airs this Sunday on Fox.In anticipation of this 30-minute episode, Fox has released four teasers (probably because they were about to be…

Bleach-Blond Carjackers, Gangsta John Waters, and God

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Joe Paterno Deserved to Get Sacked and Then Some

​Earlier this morning, Miami New Times editor Chuck Strouse penned a column bemoaning the epic fall of Joe Paterno, the iconic face of Penn State who has won more football games than any other college coach in the modern era. Last night, the school’s board of trustees canned Paterno before…

Guide To Trashing Taxpayers: The Port Tunnel

This week, Miami New Times published a guide to the eight of the worst public works projects in Miami-Dade, where bureaucrats and elected officials take pride in wasting millions in taxpayer dollars on crap residents have little-to-no use for. As we reveal each one of these boondoggles on Riptide, we’re…