Opinion & Commentary

People who use Vicks Inhalers are either (a) suffering from severe nasal congestion, or (b) rolling balls at Ultra Music Festival. Each year in March, we buy stock in Procter and Gamble, knowing very well that inhaler sales will skyrocket during the days leading up to the fest. And no,…

Ultra Music Festival is for lovers. We saw so many cute raver couples giving each other little back rubs and blowing kisses at one another while dancing to the beat of house music. Some shared water bottles by pouring ice-cold H20 over their heads. Others professed their love for each…

Everyone knows the best way to smuggle drugs is stashing that weight inside something that’s not typically associated with illicitness, i.e hollowed-out copies of holy texts, extra-large coconuts, live Labrador retriever puppies, etc. So stuffing your four-year-old niece’s Hello Kitty backpack full of pills isn’t a bad strategy for evading…

Twenty-year-old Miguel Pando is a tanning butler. His job: to stroll around the Ritz-Carlton South Beach pool and beach and offer tanning supplies to guests. Oh, and to also apply the tanning lotion on hard-to-reach body parts like backs, shoulders, and necks. Michelle Payer, the hotel’s public relations director, created…

If you’re at an all-day electro fest like Ultra Music Festival, then you have to dress the part. And this weekend, we saw it all. A dude dressed like Waldo, guys in latex, girls wearing little more than body paint, etc., etc., etc. But our favorite rave regalia accessory was…

Recently, an old friend uncovered a photo from our “rave” days. She was sort of horrified by the goggles, gigantic pant legs, and the teeny tiny shirt she’s wearing in the picture. The thing is, that shit was cool then, right? Right??? Right. For years it seemed like no one…

Marley Fest and Ultra Music Festival — these two events have a lot in common. Both are in downtown Miami. Both attract an international crowd. And both are a safe haven for dreadlocks. At Marley Fest, the dreads are often genuine and found on smelly dudes. But at Ultra, they’re made of…

Yes, we here at Crossfade are degenerate gamblers. And 12 days ago, we proved it by laying down a few bets on the outcome of the Beatport Music Awards. Well, the winners have been announced and we totally fucking cleaned up! The Beatport industry self-congratulations session went down last night…

There’s nothing creepier than watching a nearly naked full-grown adult (male or female) fiendishly suck on a little rubber nipple while writhing and humping to hardcore techno. That’s called acting like a horny baby. And it’s wrong in a million different ways. By some miracle, though, Crossfade found Leah, a…

SLRs are the new iPods. And whether you have press credentials or not, a detachable lens is the hottest accessory at Ultra Music Festival. Want to meet girls? Buy a camera. Want to sneak past security and into the photo pit? Buy a camera. Want to sweat your ass off…

We all know the human body consists of 60- to 70-percent water. And that’s why your friendly family doctor suggests that every human being should suck back several liters of liquid per day. Neglecting your body’s need for pure, precious H2O will result in constipation, chapped lips, cold hands, lack…

One of the quintessential Ultra Music Festival experiences that rarely gets any press is the average attendee’s trip to the port-a-potty. Well, I was waiting in line last night at 10:14 p.m. trying not to piss my pants and thought, “Somebody’s gotta document it. Why not me?” But whipping out…