Iron Fork Tonight

Everybody is getting excited about tonight’s Miami New Times Iron Fork event, to be held at Grand Central downtown. There will be great food and drink, all sorts of chefs and food industry personalities milling about, lively music, general festiveness, and – possibly the highlight of the evening – the…

Uncle Luke and Vicious Sid Squash Their Beef

As expected, Miami New Times columnist Luther Campbell and WQAM talk show host Sid Rosenberg put on a delightfully entertaining debate yesterday regarding the state of the University of Miami football program. Campbell went on Rosenberg’s show yesterday afternoon after the two controversial personalities exchanged barbs on Twitter and over…

Puzzle Of The Day

If the Dim Ssam A Go Go truck were to get into a collision with a Dairy Queen truck, and frozen vanilla custard landed atop a banh mi sandwich, how soon would it be before the resultant treat ended up on the menu of a molecular gastronomist?…

High School Football Coaches Deserve More Cash

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke tackles high school football coaching salaries.Florida — and Miami-Dade — seriously need to change the way high…

NBC Feast Miami: What’s With The Cockamamie Numbers?

Numbers. It’s the first thing that hits the eye upon opening the home page for NBC Feast Miami. Looks less like a blog than a board game. The clutter, however, is only mildly annoying compared to what they signify: Confusion.The grading system runs from to 100, which deceives the…

Randy Shannon Will Win A National Championship

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this exclusive online column, Luke hits back at the Randy Shannon haters.I’m really sick and tired of hearing all…

Ground Zero Islamic Cooking School: The Curriculum

Overlooked in the brouhaha over the Ground Zero Islamic Center is the cooking school to be located within the building. Although the place is still years from completion, Short Order has obtained preliminary descriptions of five courses to be included in the curriculum.1. Burqa in the Kitchen: How to Make…

Jersey Shore Damage Report: Launch Them Into Space

Last night was the penultimate episode of season two of Jersey Shore, and judging from next week’s previews of the gang hitting up the Everglades, the last with the majority of the action happening in Miami. It’s sort of a shame, we were just getting used to watching the gangs’…

Blowfly Does XXX-Mas Is a Timeless Wad of Dirty Cheer

Blowfly Blowfly Does XXX-Mas (Pandisc Records) myspace.com/blowfly Christmas comes early this year with that thick, juicy, protein-filled wad of Blowfly love that you’ve tasted so many times over the last five decades. A true visionary, Clarence Reid, AKA Blowfly, decided to jump the holiday bandwagon with this delightful take on…

Spreading Dry Animal Feces and Other Leaf Blower Dangers

​So Coral Gables Commissioner Ralph Cabrera just called up to say that yesterday’s post trashing his proposal to ban gasoline-powered leaf blowers in Coral Gables was unfair. He claims to have said many other more intelligent things to a reporter than, “Some people look at leaf blowers as a necessity…

Joshua Marcus of Chow Down Grill Is a Chopstick Nazi

Chef/owner of Chow Down Grill Joshua Marcus doesn’t stock chopsticks. No way. No how. Why? It makes sense to him, but not to many others. At one time, it caused a bit of a stir on his Facebook and Twitter pages. We wanted to know what he had to say about the…

Ball Greezy and DJ 360 Team Up for Long Time Coming

Here’s the news: Poe Boy and Strong Arm’s DJ 360 has just teamed up with Ball Greezy and his We Good Entertainment imprint. A native of Miami’s Little Haiti neighborhood, Greezy is probably best remembered for his 2007 single “Shone. And this past summer, he was also part of the unofficial official…

South Park Illustrates Our Worst Fears About Jersey Shore

When MTV announced Jersey Shore would film its second season in South Beach, Miami became the only place outside of Jersey to become infected by a Jersey-fied reality show. So last night’s South Park, in which the mountain town is suddenly overrun by “cabbage-muffed” Jerseyites, hit close to home. The…