Gimme Sugar Season 2 Promises Real Lesbians of Miami Beach

It truly is a reality TV renaissance for the city of Miami. What, with Kourtney and Khloe in Miami, Brooke Knows Best, College Hill: South Beach, Work of Genius and Miami Social. Now Logo is set to air yet another Miami-set docudrama called Gimme Sugar: Miami. It premieres this Monday both on Logo and…

MP3 of the Day: “Junkyard Dog” by ¡Mayday!, Playing Transit Tonight

From the moment local hip hop crew ¡Mayday! got their first DSL hookup, the self-described “sound bombers” have proven themselves to cunning manipulators of modern internet technology. Like a half-feral band of dystopian techno-guerillas, they’ve managed to sidestep the bombed-out remains of the post-Napster music industry — YouTubing, MySpacing, and…

Friday Food Funnies: Philosophy

A rather profound compendium of funnies this week:Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. ~Groucho MarxJean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, ‘I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.’ The waitress…

Notes From the Soundboard: Let’s Get Physical

Notes from the Soundboard is a new column appearing weekly on Crossfade,  focused on pop music’s history and ongoing evolution. Lee Zimmerman shares insights and observations on how music continues to connect with the weirdness of the world. Click here to read past installments.I have a gripe.  I don’t want…

Real Housewives of Miami?

I don’t know how Bravo is ever going to top Real Housewives of New Jersey. How do you do one better than a show that climaxes with a forehead-challenged Italian woman shouting, “You were stripping! Prostitution whore! You were fucking engaged 19 times! You fucking stupid bitch! Coming! To my!…

Otto Von Schirach Releases New Single on Basshead

Juan Loumiet is on a busy streak.  Besides running his venue, promoting shows, and spinning beats, he is finding time to drop deep tracks on his label Basshead. Right now he has this piece coming from Miami’s own Otto von Schirach.  It’s a double-A side with two big-time club bangers,…

Letters from the Issue of June 18, 2009

Best Babble Not Loria’s fault: In regard to Jeffrey Loria being named Best Chutzpah in your “Best of Miami” issue (June 11): The thing is that Loria didn’t sell the stadium to the taxpayers; he sold it to the corrupt commissioners who time and again refused to give everyone in…

MP3 of the Day: “Static” Demo by People From Venus

People From Venus is one of the most under – the – radar quality local acts, but that should change soon with the late-summer release of the band’s debut album. I waxed ecstatically about them not too long ago on this blog, but suffice it to say their songwriting boasts…

¿Que Pasa, M.I.A.? Huracán Season is Here

In the spirit of the season, I will lay down for you some hurricane tips and tricks and do’s and don’t’s. Do you dread putting up your shutters like I do? Keep them up all year! It’s easier, you only have to do it once and you are always prepared…

Feds Indict Miami Man Who Tried To Steal $14 Trillion from the IRS

They don’t call Marlon T. Moore “X-Large” for nothing. Back in December 2007, Moore, a 38-year-old Miami resident, walked out of the federal pen in Coleman, Florida after serving a six year sentence on felony money laundering charges as part of a cocaine smuggling ring. Soon after his release, Moore…

Wish You Were There Part II: Hukilau 2009 Photos From Flickr

The biggest thing going for retro culture lovers over the past weekend was, of course, Hukilau 2009. Los Straitjackets headlined the weekend’s biggest show, Friday night at the Bahia Cabana hotel. There are a ton of amazing photos of the whole event on Phinzup’s Flickr photostream. Mr. Bali Hai took…

MP3 of the Day: “Carl On” by DJ Chachi, at LIV on June 26

It would be enough of an accomplishment if 24 – year – old DJ Chachi simply spun at Tenjune — after all, it is one of the Big Bad Apple’s hippest hotspots. But that’s not nearly enough for this go-getter, who also counts to his credit residencies at both Mur.Mur…

Wish You Were There: Andy Milonakis at Just Add Water at Fontainebleau

Tweet, tweet ya’ll! Guess who was spotted yesterday at Poplife’s Just Add Water at the Fontainebleau? Funny man/boy Andy Milonakis, who just release a new single “Let Me Twitter Dat” via Diplo’s Mad Decent label, wasn’t showing off his pre-pubescent body but our cameras caught him enjoying some drinks, which…

Brooke Hogan’s Lesbian Kiss

The premiere of Brooke Knows Best’s second season was, dare I say, touching. We all know the personal saga of the Hogans (a messy divorce, the son’s stint in jail, and the matriarch dating a 19-year-old boy toy), but that episode almost made you feel for a family with loads of money and a…

The Week That Was: “Best of” Week Ever

In honor of New Times Best of Miami issue, we’ve decided to wrap up things on Riptide this week by awarding our posts this weeks with completely meaningless merits. Click through to find out who wins. I’m sure you’ll be super surprised.  Best Media hissy fit involving Bill O’Reilly and Rick…