The Week That Was: We All Really Deserve a Three Day Weekend

A bunch of cats are being killed down there in South-Dade, but luckily are own Magic City Kitty has escaped the murder’s open legs. John Wall went to Kentucky, while Robert Marve picked purdue. Adam Lambert is a secret chonga, which maybe explains why he did so well in Florida. Not well…

In Support of Florida Virtual School

Florida Comprehensive Assessment test scores came out last night and they stunk. Particularly in Miami-Dade. Yeah, the Herald made a big deal about Liberty City Elementary improving. And over the years, we have improved. I thank Jeb Bush for that. Lawton Chiles gets a C and Charlie Crist an F…

MP3 of the Day: “Burnin’ Hell” by Rotagilla

RotagillaSeason For Leavin’ (self-released)You’d think it was 1970 again, for Chrissakes, what with the way the guys of Rotagilla let out their inner Led Zep. Granted, there’s no hint of a Robert Plant or Jimmy Page lurking among this lot. However, in recycling the old school power trio format and…

Friday Food Funnies: Sushi

We’re going with a sushi theme this week, with a couple of seafood-related ha-ha’s thrown in because, as it turns out, very few people have ever written or said anything funny about raw fish. If you’ve heard any good nigiri jokes, please feel free to share ’em with us.I never…

Notes From the Soundboard: The Joys of Poco

Notes from the Soundboard is a new column appearing weekly on Crossfade, focused on pop music’s history and ongoing evolution. Lee Zimmerman shares insights and observations on how music continues to connect with the weirdness of the world. Click here to read past installments. I try not to spend too…

Florida Was Adam Lambert Country

Last night America found out the results in what many were too quick to paint as the next battle of the culture wars: American Idol’s Adam Lambert vs Kris Allen. Possibly gay, probable chonga, California-bred Lambert came into the final as the Favorite against the young, Christian, non-threatening Allen from Arkansas. Pundits, including ol’…

The Critic: Musing On The Dock Of The Bay

Hint on how to avoid bad Miami restaurants: Take a look at the dessert menu before taking a seat. If it’s a compilation of Key lime pie, tiramisu, molten chocolate cake, and the other ubiquitous treats, politely excuse yourself and go somewhere else to eat. After all, there are hundreds…

Letters from the Issue of May 21, 2009

The Great Native American Debate Those kids stink: Gus Garcia-Roberts’s May 14 story, “Renegade Road,” has much more information than the Miami Herald. I am shocked with the police records that describe the occupants of the car with the four Indians. No wonder they weren’t speaking. They were trying to…

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang at Exxxotica

In a large cylindrical cage, a tiny Asian dancer named April attempts to swing from a black plastic chain. But her red painted toes clumsily catch on the plush, pink carpeting, and she stumbles. As a result, her blond wig shifts to an extremely unnatural position. Flustered, she dangles the…

Archive Diver: Club Nu’s Rambo III Premier Party

Twenty one years ago on South Beach Club Nu threw a Rambo III Premier Party. They flew down 3 skaters from LA. That same week they had a ladies’ night, a model search, advertised the world’s most expensive vodka, got sponsored by Robert’s Western Wear, and featured performances by The…

MP3 Of the Day: “False Confidence” by Rimsky

Besides being a metal head and a member of the semi-slumbering Miami-based rock juggernaut Humbert, Rimsky Pons makes his own sweet music, self described as “power-pop for the working class.”  For those of you familiar with Humbert’s body of work, and Mr Pons’s place in it, you are already expecting…

Adam Lambert: Secret Chonga?

Tonight, America will make its most important collective decision since we elected Obama. We take to the phones to text in our choice for the next American Idol. The choice is between lil’ miss glamour puss Adam Lambert and generically good looking, non-threatening, Christian boy Kris Allen. Well, officially it is,…

Death in Miami: Two More This Morning

Details are still vague, but cops were called to two deaths this morning. In one, at Miami International Airport, it seems a 43-year-old American Airlines customer service manager named Thomas Juxovich was working on a lift near gate E-10 when he fell and died at Miami International Airport. It happened…

The Week That Was: A Sense of Belonging

This was a week where people were just trying to figure out where they belong. It was an awkward thing to watch, like tweens on their first day of middle school figuring out which lunch table to sit at. Jason Taylor knew deep, deep down that his heart belonged to Miami,…