New Expressway Proposal for Krome Avenue Is a Horrible Idea

Driving on Krome Avenue is a journey through old Florida’s last frontier — a place before suburban sprawl, crippling traffic congestion, and overdevelopment choked our wonderful, incredible ecosystem.Whenever Banana Republican has to hop from North Dade to South Dade, we take the two-lane road so we can enjoy the blissful…

“Harlem Shake” Shoot in Hialeah Goes Horribly Wrong

At first Banana Republican was torn. We didn’t know whether to curse or congratulate a gaggle of Hialeah police officers who trampled an impromptu “Harlem Shake” video shoot. Do we side with the two dozen young shakers, including a man dressed in a banana suit, who gathered in front of…

Mugshots Friday: “I Pray for You P*ssies”

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Lucali in SoBe: Miami’s Best Pizza

In a city jammed with outposts of overhyped New York restaurants, Lucali in South Beach is an exception. At the pizzeria on Bay Road, just a few steps from the Pubbelly mecca, pizza-makers wearing white T-shirts roll out doughs with empty wine bottles, cut porcini mushrooms with a mandolin slicer,…

Radio Mambi’s Armando Perez Roura Calls Hugo Chavez a Dead Trojan Horse

As hundreds of Venezuelans converged in Doral to celebrate the passing of the Bolivarian revolutionary Hugo Chávez, Miami’s number one Cuban exile radio provocateur, Armando Pérez Roura, spent yesterday afternoon proselytizing how Chávez’s death was a major blow to the Cuban government. The Radio Mambí commentator, in true spook form, told his…

Naked Vegan Cooking Is a Thing Now — Make It Stop (Photos)

We can call vegans a lot of things: weirdly connected to the planet, strangely into fake cheese, but this really takes the dairy-and-egg-free cake. Naked vegan cooking is a thing now where vegans take pictures of themselves cooking vegan dishes in their birthday suits. Sometimes they’re alone; sometimes they’re in…

Latin Builders Association Academy Lacks Diversity

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke probes a new charter school started by a special interest group.The Latin Builders Association is one of the…

Mugshots Friday: Sashay Away

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Chris Brown Kills Rihanna in Law & Order: SVU Episode

Our nation loves a good cause, and we seem to have made Rihanna one of them. This whole country is just one bad-gal Instagram photo away from a million-man march to raise awareness and call for an end to the singer’s tumultuous relationship with Chris Brown. Never mind that the…

Alba’s Ralph Pagano Shows Us His Kitchen (Harlem Shake Edition)

Alba Seaside Italian’s chef/partner Ralph Pagano always has something up his sleeve (and we’re not talking about a spare “King” hidden in his orange chef’s coat — though he probably has that too).Whether it’s telling us a story about his great-grandfather Vinny D. or cohosting a show on Lifetime (yes,…

Lake Worth Legislator Pushing Medical Marijuana Bill

Florida has some of the nation’s toughest anti-marijuana laws. For instance, anyone caught growing at least 25 plants in their home can be charged with a second-degree felony and face a maximum sentence of 15 years. Even the feds aren’t that draconian. They at least give you 99 plants before…