Louisville Destroyed Miami With Local Kids Who Used to Pick the U

At the Russell Athletic Bowl last weekend, Teddy Bridgewater and his University of Louisville teammates from Miami went on a riot. They looted the University of Miami football program they grew up rooting for and demolished it 36-9. Bridgewater and fellow Miamians Michaelee Harris, Eli Rodgers, John Miller, Charles Gaines,…

Reader Mail: Publix Isn’t Anti-Gay

Bully BS Not funny: I can’t figure out who the writer of your year-in-review piece (“The Year of the Bully,” Michael E. Miller, December 26) is trying harder to be: Dave Barry or Hunter S. Thompson. This is worse than the crap we used to crank out at my college…

NYE-Gone-Wild Stories From Miami

Oh, New Year’s Eve … A time for reminiscing about the victories and failures of the past year, celebrating the fresh arrival of a new one, and, if you’re anything like the party animals at the Vagabond, getting piss drunk. It was the last Friday of 2013 and the downtown…

Five New Year’s Resolutions for Miami Food

It’s that time of year again. You’re considering Crossfit and the Master Cleanse as part of your New Year’s resolution, and you’re certainly not alone. Miami’s food scene should be making promises, as well. The city could use a couple of things. Here are just five of ’em. See also:…

Reader Mail: Mandela and Fronting Sex Tourism

No Apologies Miami is the real city of brotherly love: Regarding Luther Campbell’s December 19 column, “Apologize Now,” about Miami leaders snubbing Nelson Mandela: I’m white and from the Northeast. It’s disgusting how openly racist people here in Miami are toward blacks. I don’t know if it’s a Latin American…

Luke’s Best Columns of 2013

A lot of folks get upset over the things I write, but I call ’em like I see ’em based on facts. The Florida Press Club has cited the stuff I’ve come up with, so I know I’m pushing the right buttons sometimes. And judging by the ten most popular…

How to Navigate the Holidays as a Vegetarian

Most of the year, being a vegetarian (or vegan) is little more than a minor inconvenience. After all, you have complete control over what goes into your shopping cart, refrigerator and, inevitably, digestive system. But around the holidays, things get a little more complicated. When faced with potlucks, buffets and…

Ratchet Christmas: Top Ten Videos

Where all my ho ho hos at? Santa wants all the naughty girls and boys to drop it in his lap, because we’re celebrating the most ratchet Christmas that the streets have ever seen. What makes a ho ratchet? Well, she’s probably gold diggin’ in a messy weave, twerkin’ in…

Miami’s Staggering Inequality Explained in One Map

More any other big city in the nation — with the exception being New York — Miami is a town of two realities. Ours is a city that’s simultaneously inhabited by revelers who preside over clubs with table service and can afford $50,000 to see Tiesto on New Year’s Eve…

Miami’s Best Restaurants that Bit the Dust in 2013

Miami is a volatile town. A restaurant might be ground-breaking and wonderful and exciting, but then it’ll close just a few months after opening. Others might stick around for years, competing against New York imports and shiny, big-pocket places until eventually losing ground. In 2013, the Magic City lost several…

Dennis Rodman in North Korea: 12 Ex-NBAers to Play There Soon

It was just a few days ago that bloodthirsty North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un executed his uncle, who was a political rival. He has now whacked or dispatched with more than half the country’s 200 leaders since taking power in 2011. No worries. Miami weirdo and former NBA great Dennis…

Mandela Tributes Sugarcoat Truth

As world leaders memorialized Nelson Mandela last week in Johannesburg, Miami media outlets — except New Times — have tried to put a positive spin on the snubbing of Madiba by Miami-Dade elected officials during his visit to the Magic City on June 24, 1990, shortly after his release from…

Reader Mail: Sex, Homeless, and the One True Rapper

Cubadave: The Great and the Grimy It’s legal, dammit: I have several comments and questions about Allie Conti’s December 12 story, “Old Dogs, Young Tricks”: (1) What is the point of this article? Cubadave (and others) go to other countries to legally engage in fun, consensual sex with adult Latin…

Kanye West Quiz! With Funny Illustrated Clues!

[Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] This game is very simple: Look at the pictures and guess what Kanye West song each one represents. Boom. That’s it. That’s all. You’re done. That’s a little thing called respecting…

Enough With the Pork, Miami: Here’s a Case for Vegetables

How do you know you’re in a cool Miami restaurant? The setting is festooned with Edison bulbs. The menu includes an heirloom tomato and burrata salad, perhaps year-round. The chef relishes pork belly. There’s charcuterie, pickles, free-range chicken, beets paired with goat cheese, and servers who recite, “Dishes come out…

Blowjobs and Mistletoe: Five Naughty Santa Stories From Miami

Green holiday lights and white snowflakes dangled from the branches of Wood Tavern’s patio tree. It was time to Backyard Boogie ’round the Christmas tree. The weather was a perfect 70 degrees, the sangria was flowing, and the festive lights were gleaming. It was definitely beginning to look and feel…