The Bitch’s ultrasensitive ears have been picking up intimations of the pending closure of the Virgin Megastore at Sunset Drive and South Dixie Highway in South Miami. Although the store is often overpriced, and the Shops at Sunset Place is generally the biggest intelligence vacuum outside of Miracle Mile in…
Dangerous Show Or as dangerous as theater can get, anyway: As Ed Bullins’s literary representative, I thought it might seem inappropriate for me to be writing to New Times about Joanne Green’s excellent review, “Devil Inside” (April 6). The play, The Taking of Miss Janie, which is being done at…
The equestrians staging this month’s Miami Beach Arena Polo Cup are an informal cadre called the Polo Lifestyle Team. They are basically a group of very wealthy fellows from Argentina, Switzerland, Italy, and India, along with American nouveau riche such as Tim Gannon of Team Outback (yes, the owner of…
When the Santos Come marchando in: In reference to Patrice E.G. Yursik’s story “Totally Jazzed” (March 30): I lived in New Orleans for three years until Katrina came to town. I chose to live there to do research on jazz and to experience the music in the place where it…
While taking a breather during a set at Saturday’s Ultra Music Festival, Brandon Flowers, the doll-like lead singer of the Killers, uttered an appropriate encomium for this year’s Miami Music Conference: “When music kills you, at least it doesn’t hurt.” The phrase aptly captured the overall essence of the week,…
Recall the Pro and Con She gotta go: Regarding Francisco Alvarado’s “Total the Recall” (March 16): For government to work, elected public officials need to know they are supposed to serve the people, not the other way around. If we the people do not like the way he/she is conducting…
A Weighty Responsibility To treat them right: As a Brit member of the U.S.-based fat acceptance site, Big Fat Blog, I just had to write and say how much I enjoyed reading Patrice E.G. Yursik’s refreshingly unbiased and celebratory piece “Big-Girl Sunday” (March 16). Given the subject matter of the…
The Bitch has many times professed her love for the Sagamore at 1671 Collins Ave. in Miami Beach. It’s a long-held infatuation based on admiration for the open-to-the-public Taplin art collection in the boutique hotel’s lobby. But lately the dog-museumette relationship has been strained, owing to a sudden increase at…
Bye Bye, Joey Cleanin’ up the house: In reference to “Arriola Resign? Fuhgeddaboutit!” by Francisco Alvarado (March 9): It looks like it may be time to say, “Adios, farewell, and good luck,” to Miami City Manager Joe Arriola. There is plenty of blame to be spread around at city hall…
The arrival of a 2007 calendar perplexed The Bitch. Wasn’t 2006 only three months old? She could conceive and birth several litters of puppies between now and 2007. And then she read this description of the calendar’s contents: “For centuries, golfers around the world have been mesmerized by the smooth,…
A Cuban Chief of Police. How Cool! Maybe a café cubano con el jefe: Jeezzez Kriezz … what are Chuck Strouse and Francisco Alvarado trying to do? Get us a Cuban chief of police? Can you guys at least wait until I move to Seattle? I have very strong objections…
Miam-uh has bent the South Beach Wine & Food Festival to its will; in only five years, the event has morphed from a one-day, academically affiliated, kitchen-rich conference for the cuisine world’s crème de la crème into a 100-hour party of consumption — conspicuous and otherwise. Yet those fortunate enough…
He never did it. No way. No how. Miami Police Chief John Timoney contends he couldn’t have said, “Fuck the Cubans,” on February 12 at 1:00 a.m. at a party sponsored by Ocean Drive magazine. Since New Times reported the quote in a February 16 The Bitch column, the chief…
G-String Hypocrisy A brief history of strip clubs: As a confirmed Libertarian, I have to applaud Forrest Norman’s article “Booze Ban in Babylon” (February 16) about my city’s all too obvious hypocrisy. To not allow booze in an establishment where women are paid to be outrageous and yet allow it…
Flash back to Art Basel 2003. On NE 37th Street and Biscayne Boulevard, a thirteen-foot mural of a nude posterior view, emphasis on the derrire, appeared on a wall. Tan, with her blond hair in a bun, the female subject personified the lyrics of Sir Mix-a-Lot (“That when a girl…
Chief Complaint Never, ever happened: It came to my attention there were quotes in The Bitch’s story “Never, or Then” (February 16) that were attributed to me which I did not say. These comments (which I did not make) were derogatory to the Cuban community and may damage the relations…
It is rare for The Bitch to close down any party, let alone one thrown by Ocean Drive, but when the lights came on this past Saturday at the St. Regis Hotel in Bal Harbour, the dog was happy to find her tail wagging right next to Miami Police Chief…
Our Lord Calling Well, maybe not: Regarding “Jesus Redux” by Mariah Blake (February 9): Creciendo en Gracia/Growing in Grace is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I have respect for all religions, but the rants and lifestyle of this group’s leader, José Luis De Jesus Miranda, is absurd. The…
The Bitch has a confession to make: Since Poplife abandoned I/O for the District some months ago, the club has dropped from her party peregrinations. Although rodent-chasing possibilities abound in the gnarly field-cum-parking-lot near the NE Fourteenth Street club, it’s not worth sidestepping cockroaches and crack vials to listen to…
Seedy Prose But smart editor: In response to Chuck Strouse’s February 2 column, “Bad Seeds”: Bravo. I don’t wish anything bad upon anyone’s children, but I do want to extend to Mr. Strouse congratulations because the piece was written exceptionally well. I hope he gets some award for the investigative…
Welcome, damas and caballeros, to Miami New Times’s first annual Bad Seed Awards ceremony here at the gleaming new — though still incomplete — $446 million downtown performing arts center. Among our fine crop of contestants are the sons and daughters of Miami’s most notable people. In fact all the…
Web Wallow It’s getting better, bucko: The new layout of your Website blows. I realize it was a decision made by the corporate people, but now almost all New Times Websites are essentially unusable. Tell me, does anyone really click on any of those banner ads that are now so…
