Poor Joe. Poor crazy, fucked-up, mentally unbalanced Joe. Why is the whole darn world against you? Why won’t people just leave you alone? Is it because your upper lip has begun doing this weird disappearing act whenever you launch into one of your tirades? Is it because your gait recently…
It’s pop-quiz time. What do Anchorage, Alaska; Uncasville, Connecticut; and Wausau, Wisconsin; all have in common? Best keep your podunkville remarks to yourself: All three far-flung burgs will be graced with an imminent live concert from Havana’s Cubanismo, the sprawling son ensemble led by ace trumpeter Jesus Alemañy. Those are…
Editor’s note: In next week’s issue, accompanying our annual “Best of Miami” edition, we will publish a special letters section devoted to all aspects of the Elian Gonzalez case and its aftermath. We have received hundreds of messages and will publish as many as possible. To be considered for inclusion,…
“To everyone who is here, if we would have had weapons, this would not have happened.” — Lazaro Gonzalez, addressing a crowd of supporters outside his house following the removal of Elian Now that el exilio has ended its attacks on Miami’s beleaguered tires, newspaper vending machines, and Dumpsters, the…
Standing in front of what once was Elian Gonzalez’s Little Havana home, Jan Weininger, whose father was killed during the Bay of Pigs invasion, railed against Attorney General Janet Reno’s decision to send in federal agents a few hours earlier. “I think every Cuban American or anybody who loves democracy…
The “Forgive Us for Being Cuban” Letter I am writing to apologize for all the terrible things we Cubans have done to you while living in the United States. Please let me begin with my own humble plea for forgiveness. Forgive me for being too Cuban, too Spanish, too European,…
Within segments of the Cuban-American community there is a belief that Elian Gonzalez is a messiah of sorts, protected by God and sent here to expedite the fall of Fidel Castro. Unfortunately I don’t see it that way. Elian’s greatest impact has always been centered on Miami, not Havana. Through…
The Sanchez Solution Ramon Saul Sanchez is an exile leader with charisma, style, and a strong sense of drama By Kirk Nielsen Follow the Leader — as He Backs You into a Corner Kirk Nielsen’s article concerning Ramon Saul Sanchez, self-anointed exile leader and one of the men behind the…
It’s been somewhat gratifying to page through the nation’s mainstream media this past week and discover editorials from St. Louis to Seattle, all filled with sober centrists uttering the same pronouncements on Miami’s body politic that Kulchur has been jumping up and down about for the past eighteen months. Namely…
As the Elian Gonzalez media juggernaut began approaching warp speed over the past few weeks, some in Miami’s Cuban-American community expressed displeasure with the portrait of them being painted by the press. The muffled grumbling became explicit on April 7 during Ted Koppel’s Nightline “town meeting,” beamed to the nation…
A Life in Jeopardy! Ever dreamed of being on the brainy game show? Think you could sweep the board? Yeah, Ted B. Kissell did too. By Ted B. Kissell And Now We Pause for this Message from Those Who Still Have a LifeTed B. Kissell’s “A Life in Jeopardy!” (April…
The immortality predictions of Elian-crazed santeros aside, eventually Fidel Castro will pass on, and with him (notwithstanding the ascendancy of a Putin-style strongman) Cuban society as we presently know it. The precise form of this postrevolutionary landscape certainly is open for debate, but as a host of powerful South Floridian…
The U.S. State Department routinely advises Americans living abroad to keep their passports handy. Given the events of last week, it won’t be long before the agency includes Miami-Dade County in that advisory. In fact I’ve begun grabbing my passport whenever I leave the house. It must be obvious to…
Heads Up!Normally I love Jim DeFede’s column, but he really missed the boat in suggesting we drop a loaded cargo container on Elian Gonzalez (“A Modest Proposal for Elian Gonzalez,” March 30). The real question is how to off the munchkin while doing the most damage to the Great Bearded…
For a telling sociological observation on last week’s Miami Beach gathering of nearly 5000 dance-music professionals at the Winter Music Conference (WMC), one didn’t need to dig deep. At the registration area inside the Radisson Deauville hotel, only a handful of people waited at the credit-card payment booth. Meanwhile to…
The ruling last week by U.S. District Court Judge K. Michael Moore left little doubt that Elian Gonzalez will be returned to his father in Cuba, and that this saga is now entering its final phase. Attorneys for the child’s Miami relatives have filed their desperate, last-minute appeal, but they…
A Portable Feast In the world of the lunchero, the food is hot, the drinks are cold, and the turf wars are downright dangerous By Victor Cruz Straight and Out of LineIn reference to Armando Dominguez’s comment from Victor Cruz’s article “A Portable Feast” (March 23), obviously he’s not intelligent…
The decision last week by the nation’s largest gun manufacturer, Smith & Wesson, to produce safer, less child-friendly handguns came about because one mayor had the courage to step forward and challenge the gun industry. That man’s name is Marc Morial, the mayor of New Orleans. It was Morial who…
Parks advocates last week suffered a setback in their struggle to save Bicentennial Park from the evil clutches of millionaire Marlins owner John Henry. Independent consultants hired by the City of Miami presented their findings March 13 at a meeting of a committee considering options for a downtown baseball stadium…
On the Block In an act of audacious short-sightedness, Miami is offering its finest bayfront property to the highest bidder By Jose Luis Jiménez Miami: Civic Slut New Times has done a great public service by publishing Jose Luis Jiménez’s article “On the Block” (March 16), which accurately portrays the…
Never Too Small to Break the Rules Andrea Loring got tired of seeing private high schools recruit star basketball players. But she had no idea busting them would bring her such grief. By Robert Andrew Powell Never Too Small to GrouseRobert Andrew Powell’s article “Never Too Small to Break the…
Out with the Cuban Mafia!The letter from reader Rob Boyte was headlined, “You Wouldn’t Understand, It’s an Anglo Thing” (March 2). I want to say yes, we do understand. And it is not only an Anglo thing. Many Cuban Americans like me are also fed up with the “Cuban thing.”…
