Corina Esquijarosa, North Bay Village Mayor, Could End Up in the Slammer

When it comes to North Bay Village Mayor Corina Esquijarosa, Miami-Dade State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle should follow Monroe County’s lead. There should be no mercy for individuals who screw over their fellow taxpayers.On August 19, Florida Department of Law Enforcement Special Agent Vincent Weiner was arrested on misdemeanor charges of…

William Bryson, Miami-Dade’s New Fire Chief, Excluded Blacks

​When Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez tapped one of his close confidantes to lead the county’s fire department, he ignored 29 other applicants to pick a guy who once booted African-Americans out of Miami’s fire union. No one was interviewed — not even Haitian-American Karls Paul-Noel, who was interim chief until…

Michelle Spence-Jones Proves the Mainstream Media Wrong

​Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke gloats about the dropping of criminal charges against African-American Miami Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones. When Michelle Spence-Jones was being…

Dear Ricardo Guerrero: Ten Reasons Why Miami Venues Don’t Suck Dick

​Recently, Crossfade covered local musician and promoter Ricardo Guerrero’s declaration that “Miami Venues Suck Dick.” The scintillating article managed to pile up a total of 117 comments. Some people agreed with Guerrero’s statement. Others tried to offer suggestions to grow this little scene. It’s a classic underground music fight, and…

Fashion Freakouts at the MTV Video Music Awards 2011

The 2011 MTV Video Music Awards show was packed full of “entertaining” surprises. It was revealed that Beyonce is preggers, Rick Ross paints quietly like Bob Ross, and Rebecca Black doesn’t know how to do the Dougie. Of course, the confounding fashion decisions were perhaps the most memorable part of…

North Bay Village Has A Possum Epidemic

​The morning of August 21, a pesky intruder found itself caged in the lush back yard of Richard Chervony’s three-bedroom residence in North Bay Village. Bearing its fangs and emitting a guttural growl, the creature spied Chervony with its black doll eyes. Its furry, salt-and-pepper body and bald, pink tail…

Mugshots Friday: A Cowboy, a Botched Sunflower, and Joke Time

​Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

In Honor of PETA Porn, the Five Sexiest Fruits and Vegetables

PETA — People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals — obviously doesn’t care about the ethical treatment of human eyeballs because they’ve decided to mix images of animal torture with porn. Yes, porn.Taking their “I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur” campaign a few gazillion steps further, PETA has signed…

Hialeah Hates Barack Obama, Rick Scott

A recent survey of 300 registered voters in Hialeah shows that “La Ciudad Que Progresa” thinks the president and Florida’s governor both suck. The poll, paid by the Hialeah firefighters union, finds that 54 percent and 51 percent of the respondents disapprove of Obama and Scott, respectively. Obama received a…

Weight-Loss Surgery Without the Surgery?

During the past couple of weeks, there’s been a flurry of excitement surrounding my stance against weight-loss surgery. Basically, I’m against it. But what if you could reap the benefits of having WLS without ever entering an operating room?Rena Greenberg, a nationally certified hypnotist and author of The Right Weigh:…

Michelle Spence-Jones’s First Interview: “It Was Wrong” UPDATED

Update: Gov. Rick Scott has officially reinstated Michelle Spence-Jones as a Miami city commissioner.Earlier this morning, Banana Republican spoke with Michelle Spence-Jones in her first media interview since a grand theft charge against her was dropped yesterday. Obviously she is jubilant. “When you know you are innocent, it’s a victory…