Cavity’s Goin’ Ann Arbor/Sometime Sweet Susan 7″

CavityGoin’ Ann Arbor/Sometime Sweet Susan 7″(Rhetoric Records) What can I say? It doesn’t always work out. Case in point: My mother tried so hard to make me an upright citizen, a contributor, an eventual CEO, MBA candidate, whatever-the-fuck. She never imagined in her wildest dreams that I’d be some abject…

An Open Letter to The Decemberists, Love Crossfade

Dear Decemberists, Congratulations, The King is Dead is a remarkable album. We can’t wait to hear it live. Actually, on second thought, we probably won’t hear it live because the awful reality is that your tour’s not stopping in Miami. Hell, it’s not even tickling Florida’s Panhandle. But that’s what…

Pettiness Rules The High School Recruiting Season

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses the pettiness of college football’s National Signing Day.I have to admit University of Miami Hurricanes head…

Mango’s Tropical Cafe: A Tourist Trap Revisited

If you live in Miami, you might have forgotten what it was like when you first moved here. You did, you know, tourist things such as enjoying a night out at Mango’s Tropical Café. The Ocean Drive institution is known for its colorful cast of character patrons, shows, and scantily-clad…

Sports Radio Host Andy Slater’s Ultimate At-Home Superbowl Party

​Andy Slater hosts the popular “Andy Slater Show” from noon to 3 p.m. weekdays on 640AM WFTL Radio, where he’s known for interviewing giants in sports. Andy has spoken with some of the greats, including Don King, Andre Dawson, Frank Robinson, Carlos Delgado, Adam Dunn, Frank Francisco and even O.J…

Elitist National Magazine Endorses Luke For Mayor

You know Uncle Luke is the true front runner when even the New Yorkers are telling Miami-Dade voters to elect him county mayor. New York magazine officially joined the movement today. Writer Amos Barshad notes “it doesn’t take a friggin’ expert to know that former 2 Live Crew svengali Luther…

Five Super Bowl Halftime Moments That Totally Sucked

We know you’re gearing up for the big game this Sunday. Maybe you’re actually washing your Ben Rapistburger jersey for the first time all season, or polishing your cherished wedge of cheesehead. Whatever you’re doing, you’re getting pumped for Super Bowl Sunday. And we are too. Hell, why else would…

Uncle Luke Runnin, Uncle Luke Runnin, Uncle Luke Runnin

We don’t know about all of you, but we’re pretty sick and tired of certain Miami-Dade politicians who keep resorting to their legal attack strategies to stop the will of the people. It’s damn time we get ourselves a true leader, a champion of the first amendment, who’s gonna come…

Live Eels and Dead Gators Sold At International Wal-Marts

Wal-Mart, with the approval of First Lady Michelle Obama, recently announced it would introduce healthier foods. Store brands will eliminate trans fats and reduce sugar, artificial colors and sodium. This is a positive step.What many people don’t know is that Wal-Mart owns and operates over 4,000 stores in more than …

Hialeah Man’s $40 million Ponzi Scheme Nets More Arrests

Nine more individuals have been criminally charged in the ongoing federal investigation into a $40 million ponzi scheme in Hialeah. The arrests come in the wake of news reports that the FBI and the Internal Revenue Service are investigating Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina for alleged loan sharking, mortgage fraud and…

Midtown Is Miami’s Best Dining Neighborhood

​As Waylon Jennings might have put it, we were looking for Miami’s up-and-coming dining scene in all the wrong places. Like, for instance, the Design District. When Michael’s Genuine Food & Drink took off, followed by Fratelli Lyon, Michelle Bernstein’s Sra. Martinez, and Jonathan Eismann’s mini-empire, it appeared that the…

Letters from the issue of February 3, 2011

All in the Family Different strokes: What a wonderful story about the two gay men who had to travel out of the country to adopt a baby (“Gaybies!” Leslie Minora, January 27). It embodies the true meaning of family. In a world with over six billion people, there is no…

Help Crossfade Convince Peter, Bjorn and John to Play Miami!

On Monday, we wrote a letter to Fleet Foxes about their upcoming tour. We assured them that Miami’s music scene is on the up-and-come, and promised that if they came down here, we’d willingly fork over the price of admission for a night of culturally relevant indie rock. The band…

Natacha Seijas Tells A GenTV Reporter To Take A Hike

Natacha Seijas should just get on her broom and fly off whenever a pesky journalist confronts her for comment about the recall against her. As we write this, the Wicked Witch of Northwest Miami-Dade is probably brewing up some diabolical potion for her latest media nemesis, GenTV reporter Claudia DoCampo,…

The Essentials’ Fast Music in a Slow Town EP

The Essentials Fast Music in a Slow Town (Safety Net Records & Tapes) The Essentials were part of the early South Florida punk explosion of the late ’70s and early ’80s. And this EP, Fast Music in a Slow Town, is a sweet blend of straight-up punk rock with touches…

Five Super Bowl Halftime Moments That Didn’t Suck

Once again, it’s that magical time of year … Super Bowl! Hell, even people who could give a damn seem to get into the spirit. Like Jews shopping for Christmas gifts at Aventura Mall in mid-December, they’ll gather ’round the TV somewhere this Sunday with friends and loved ones, not…

Underage Sex Trafficking — The Myths, The Meeting

If you believe the Other Voices column published in the Miami Herald Sunday, Village Voice Media is a big bad monster. After all, we own Backpage.com, which is the “market leader in online sex ads.” And those ads allegedly traffic millions of underage girls — particularly this week, when the…

Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina’s Dealings With An Admitted Ponzi Schemer Included Councilwoman Vivian Casals-Muñoz

​Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina and his wife Raiza Villacis-Robaina gave out high interest loans to individuals other than accused ponzi schemer Luis Felipe Perez. And Hialeah Councilwoman Vivian Casals-Muñoz prepared the mortgage documents that secured the loans the Robainas provided to Perez, former Councilman Guillermo Zuñiga, and Hialeah business owners…