“My Brother Is a Fruit”

​Jello pudding spokesperson and longtime funny man Bill Cosby used to host a CBS show called Kids Say the Darndest Things. He’d ask children random questions and hope for “cute” answers in return.Short Order staffer were recently on assignment (eating) and overheard a kid say darndest thing.Lady: What’s your favorite…

Julio Robaina Takes Care of Hialeah Councilwoman’s Mom

Former Hialeah Police Chief Rolando Bolaños continues his social media attack on the city’s mayor, Julio Robaina. This past September 26, via a Facebook status update, Bolaños informed his friends network about the generous amount of tax payer dollars that have been allocated to Hialeah’s communications and events department run…

Hip-Hop Stars Over Miami Politicians In Overtown

This past Saturday night, Banana Republican witnessed a magical moment in Overtown proving that Miami New Times columnist Luther Campbell has got it right when he says hip-hop has the power to bring people together. A true cross section of Miami’s hip-hop lovers came out to Ice Palace Studios to…

Snooki Will Write a Novel, Denies Alcohol Poisoning Claims

Earlier this week came reports that petite princess of poofdom Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi had a secret near death experience while shooting Jersey Shore in Miami stemming from alcohol poisoning. She’s refuted the rumors, and in fact, she’s living life right now perhaps at a level higher than most of us…

Banana Republican and Other Blogs Banned From City Hall?

We’ve been exiled from our own capitol! At least that’s what a purported email from Miami City Manager Carlos Migoya indicates. If the memo is real, Migoya isn’t too keen on city employees reading up on all the shenanigans he, his subordinates and his bosses are up to via Banana…

Norman Braman’s Recall Real Fishy

We’ve never hidden our disappointment and disgust with Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez’s administration. Voters handed him immense powers in 2007, but Carlos “El Fuerte” never materialized. And he sandbagged Miami-Dade taxpayers with the Marlins deal and most recently, his successful push to increase property taxes. The latter allegedly the motivation…

One Party United Under Hip-Hop

​Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke starts a worldwide political movement.Around this time last year, undercover racist movement Take America Back began to take…

Bill Cooke Will Most Likely Not Be Buying a Ynot Tribute T-Shirt

Bill Cooke hasn’t been this unhinged at the New Times since my boss photographed a mannequin wardrobe malfunction. The self-styled media watchdog behind blog Random Pixels and Loose Thoughts calls my feature on Jonathan “Ynot” Corso — the prolific graffiti artist killed in late July — a “glorifying [of] criminal…

Kat Stacks’s Top Ten Twitter Tips for Hoing Like a Total Pro

Every ho’s gotta have a hero. Even Miami’s current reigning queen of ass, Kat Stacks, looks up to someone. (Catch Kat at Dream tonight.) And if you’ve been monitoring her Twitter feed lately — but really why would you, unless you want your brain to melt? — perhaps you’ve noticed…

D. Cash and DJ Spinna Drop The Prequel

Representing Miami Gardens, D. Cash has been gaining big buzz lately. His instantly recognizable raspy flow makes him memorable from the first beat. Backed by 2Flyy Entertainment, D. Cash may very well be Miami’s next break-out hip-hop star.He just dropped his latest mixtape entitled The Prequel. And in D. Cash’s…