Corrections Chief Tim Ryan Can’t Seem To Stop Offending Black Guards

Note to Tim Ryan: Maybe just stay home next February. Ryan, Miami-Dade Corrections and Rehabilitation chief since 2006, hasn’t exactly built a mountain of goodwill with his majority black workforce during his three years in charge of one of the nation’s largest prison systems, with a $315 million budget and…

The Week That Was: We Decided To Be A Celebrity Tabloid

Riptide usually tries to stay away from the celebrity gossip stuff, unless it’s amazing. It seems that fate has sent us lots of amazing celeb gossip this week:Paris Hilton tried to get a House/Techno DJ to stop playing House and Techno during the biggest Techno and House event in America,…

Is Race an Issue in SoFla Newspaper Layoffs/Departures?

I’ve just learned that three old friends are leaving South Florida’s daily newspapers: one-time Miami bureau chief David Cazares and columnist Ralph De La Cruz are moving on from the Sun-Sentinel….and editorial page editor Joe Oglesby is retiring from the Miami Herald. That’s on top of editor Manny Garcia, who…

Another Day, Another Caribbean-Based Ponzi Scheme

Forget Edison, Franklin, even Steve Jobs. If there’s one innovator we truly love and respect here in South Florida and the Caribbean, it’s Charles Ponzi.The guy, let’s face it, invented pretty much the best scheme ever. Why do complicated stuff like “invest money” when you can just take it and…

Hallandale Vice Gets Busy in the Champagne Room

On March 7, just a half-hour past midnight, stormtroopers from the Hallandale Beach Police Department and the Florida Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco raided the Cheetah gentlemen’s club.The cops busted 16 dancers and two managers, arresting the girls on prostitution charges and the managers for allegedly running a whorehouse…

Letters from the Issue of March 26, 2009

Prison Scared Me Straight Good job: In response to Francisco Alvarado’s “Unequal Justice” on March 19: This is a great article and all true, I’m sure. How do I know this? I turned 18 in jail back in the early ’80s. I was busted with a whole lot of Quaaludes…

Little Havana Doesn’t Trust Miami Marlins

Luis Montealegre poured a café Cubano on Tuesday, paid a delivery guy for croquetas, and peered east a few blocks from his corner cafeteria. There was only blue sky where a $634 million Marlins baseball stadium will soon rise. “This is the poorest part of the city, the one that…

Let me get this straight

So at around the 7:04 p.m. mark of the Miami-Dade County Commission’s nine-hour bull session to approve the Florida Miami Marlins’ new stadium, Commissioner Sally Heyman posed a rather simple business question. She asked what would happen to the ballpark’s projected $1.9 billion cost if the municipal bond interest rates…

Stadium Approved, Good Friggin’ Riddance

My favorite moment in yesterday’s nine-hour discussion of the new $2 billion Marlins Stadium came at 9:27 p.m., when Commissioner “Space Cowboy” Javier Souto began defending himself from concerns that Mayor Carlos Alvarez runs him like an Italian train: “My vote is not for sale, rent, or lease,” Souto said. “Whichever…

Say No to the Stadium

Today the Miami-Dade County Commission will vote to build the Florida Marlins a new stadium. Or not. I hope they don’t. This deal is such a stinker I don’t know how Mayor Carlos Alvarez, the stadium’s chief cheerleader, doesn’t walk around wearing a gas mask every time he is out…

South Florida According to Brooklyn: To My Haters

To read past installments of Miami According to Brooklyn, click here. This week is addressed to my haters. First off, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read my column. Second, the things that I write and talk about are just one man’s opinion. I just throw…

Forget the Stadium. Joe Sanchez Just Won the Mayor’s Job.

If you weren’t paying attention to any news media in town yesterday, you might have missed that Miami commissioners voted 3 to 2 in favor of the new baseball stadium in Little Havana.But even those who were watching probably failed to notice a salient fact: Joe Sanchez basically locked up…

Letters from the Issue of March 19, 2009

Deserters Get Their Just Deserts You darn crybabies: In response to Megan Feldman’s March 12 story, “Move Out!”: I have no sympathy for people who volunteer for duty and then want to use bullshit excuses like “illegal war” to shirk their responsibility. During Vietnam, many were drafted and in spite…

The Woman Whisperer

It’s an easy, breezy Tuesday evening at Monty’s (2550 S. Bayshore Dr., Coconut Grove) when Chris, a short, 27-year-old Cuban-American with a handlebar mustache, jitters past a circle-jerk of about 15 middle-age shrimpers hunched over the tiki-thatched patio’s main bar. Their necks are the same color as the pink sunset…

Chuck Rules, Bill Bites

Today Bill Cooke at Random Pixels took a shot at New Times and editorial jefe Chuck Strouse. He wrote: I used to love Miami New Times. When I lived in Coconut Grove I knew where the paper was delivered on Wednesday and usually snagged a copy by early afternoon. Since…

Solo Sushi Needs Soy Sauce. Akashi Has Soy Sauce.

9:39 p.m. last night, my friend texted me, “Loving [Lil’] Kim on Dancing With the Stars!” While he was home watching B & C-Listers do the cha-cha – wasabi, crab and fresh-out-the-water tuna was doing the electric boogaloo on my tongue. Akashi’s South Miami outpost is potentially one of the…

BET’s College Hill: South Beach Premiers Next Week

College Hill is basically BET’s answer to the Real World, but with a lot less transsexuals and eye-liner wearing boys from Utah, and a lot more students from historically black universities. Seven students from throughout the country live together for a semester. In the first few seasons I think they…

Organic hipness

When Banana Republican is not out trolling the streets of Miami in search of corrupt politicians, inept bureaucrats, scoundrels, outlaws and other riff-raff that deserve exposing, I like to check out the hipster scene. I’ll roll up a nice fat banana peel, pour a little Macallan’s malt scotch whiskey into my…

The Week That Was

The Herald started out its week on various death lists, cut 175 people (including one on her birthday), and left people questioning whether Miami will even have a daily paper anymore. Meanwhile, one of the paper’s more infamous famous employees landed a job, because there is no justice in the…

The Real Housewives of Various Governor’s Mansions

I was just checking the ol’ RSS reader, and discovered that Naked Politics has a post up alerting readers to outtakes from The Real Housewives of New York City featuring Florida’s First Lady Carole Rome.  I am insanely jealous we did not have this first (btw, anyone notice that the…