Shakespeare-referencing HBO series Deadwood gave viewers a season finale that began with a funeral and ended with a wedding yet left an impression more tragic than comedic. A Miami Beach-based Bitch TV focus group resoundingly approved of the South Dakota serial, with the male specimens enthusiastic over the episode’s depictions…
It’s hard to imagine another major city in America with as many closeted politicians as Miami. No, not closeted about being gay — in the closet about being Democrats. Whatever shortcomings Alex Penelas may have had as county mayor (and as a Democrat), he had few qualms about making county…
Bullet Time: Off Target Errors mar otherwise lousy article: Regarding Francisco Alvarado’s “Bullet Time” (May 5), I must point out some factual errors. Taking a class at a gun show does not allow one to simply walk out with a concealed-weapon permit. Rather upon successful completion you are presented with…
Just how tough is it being a red-state Democrat these days? “I inherited a party that’s broke,” grimaces Jimmy Morales, the new chairman of the Miami-Dade Democratic Party, likening his job only half-jokingly to one of “herding cats.” Indeed, while talk of loyal party apparatchiks tends to conjure up visions…
Stench of Dead Rats Rotting corpses, scuzz, grime — what an embarrassment of riches! Thanks to The Bitch for writing about our collective launch of St. Mary’s Art District (“Plague Dog,” April 21). We love the area and pray that The Bitch was right about the stench of dead rats…
“Somehow I just knew he would look great in a dress,” Robert Desiderio pronounces, casting a regal gaze across the room at Shelley Novak, one of South Beach’s most notorious drag queens. That Desiderio, or “Desi” as he’s usually called, is being absolutely serious only heightens the joke. After all,…
Picture Worth Several Choice Words Let’s start with shamefully stigmatizing: Thank you so much for the cover photo for Rebecca Wakefield’s article “Social Promotion” (April 21). It has been awhile since any member of my family got to wear their yellow stars on their shirts to identify them as part…
The Bitch was fascinated by an ad for a hearse posted by one of her Gothic music pack mates, so she called death-coach owner Stivan Widick to ask him why he was selling his beloved Sarah. Turns out Widick, creative director of Persistence of Vision Motion Picture Arts, has a…
Spending an afternoon on South Beach with Ray Breslin is a bit like stepping into the closing scenes of Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life. Although Breslin never hollers out: “Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building & Loan!” as he buoyantly walks Kulchur through a block-by-block tour of his neighborhood,…
Caught on Tape: Kill the Messenger Yes, innocent until proven guilty, but $50,000 for a real-estate deal? Why is it that in select cases, when people don’t like the message, they attack the messenger? That’s what happened in “Caught on Tape” (April 14). I thought Francisco Alvarado and Rebecca Wakefield’s…
It is no secret The Bitch is obsessed with the UPN reality series America’s Next Top Model. This fascination is based largely on the show’s begetting the very best line ever uttered on television — “That ho poured a beer on my weave!” — and the fact this exclamation came…
Keith Menin spent last Saturday night with a large grin plastered on his face. He had good reason to smile as throngs of fashion-forward partiers surged around him at the opening for his family’s Sanctuary Hotel — the latest entrant in South Beach’s ever-expanding “boutique” condo-hotel market. In 1986, according…
Not Everyone Can Be a Rap Star But Timbaland can show the kids how to be healthy: I’d like to thank Mosi Reeves for his article about super producer Timbaland (Tim Mosely) and his new-found infatuation with physical fitness (“Organic Produce,” April 7). Timbaland is a perfect example for many…
The four members of Ride were still teenagers when their 1990 album Nowhere created the musical blueprint for romantic, transporting washes of soft-loud guitar feedback subsequently known as shoegazer. Disbanded by 1996, Ride has occasionally re-formed for one-off concerts and enjoys growing retrospective critical adoration. Mark Gardener, the singer-guitarist for…
There was a time when it was easy to tell the three Antoni children apart. As the offspring of Dr. Robert Antoni, a descendent of nineteenth-century British utopian communards who immigrated to Trinidad, the Antoni children did their best to carry on that offbeat lineage, becoming the real-world equivalent of…
Your Elected Officials at Work Government of the people, by the arrogant, for the developers: It is tempting to blame the developers of the 50-story Onyx 2, Willy Bermello and Gustavo Miculitzki, for the travesty soon to be visited upon NE 28th Street, as reported by Forrest Norman in “The…
Punish the Victim Sounds all wrong, which is why the cops and prosecutors need scrutiny: I believe Tristram Korten’s story “How to Get Away with Murder” (March 24), in which homicide charges were dropped against a defendant after the eyewitness initially was not completely truthful with detectives, raises serious questions…
Winter Music Conference closed out with Ultra 7, what should have been the most wonderful night of the year for electronic music lovers, especially the ground-level fan base who couldn’t afford or simply couldn’t get into the more exclusive fetes and concerts attendant to WMC’s music-industry dweeb/professional partier cavalcade. At…
You have to feel a little bit sorry for ousted Bolivian President Gonzalo Sánchez de Lozada, regardless of your personal political leanings. At least that’s how documentary filmmaker Rachel Boynton sees it. “You’ve spent millions on your campaign to be elected president, to solidify your legacy as the FDR of…
The Ultra Truth I came, I catered, I sued: I read Jean Carey’s article “Behind the Curtain” about the guys who run the Ultra Music Festival, Russell Faibisch and Alex Omes (Winter Music Conference Guide, March 17). It is a shame to see such good props given to these two…
Since learning of her fascination with the Mathletes characters in the movie Mean Girls, real Mathletes from around Miami have been ringing The Bitch’s phone off the hook with reports of their true-life abacus adventures. In fact some middle school geniuses represented well for Miami-Dade in the state finals of…
One Secret to Success Don’t lose your head amid the glitz and glam: Brett Sokol did a fine job with his “Kulchur” column about Ocean Drive magazine (“Ocean Thrive,” March 10). He captured the essence of it. And Michael Shavalier’s art direction on the cover was hilarious, one of the…
