Kendrick Lamar Is Making Hip-Hop Matter Again

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke chimes in on K Dot’s lyrical throwdown. The music recording industry needs to thank Compton, California, rapper…

Ten Best Songs for Getting Drunk, According to Miami Boozers

Hipsters rockin’ body suits, high-waist shorts, and large, dark-framed glasses, mid-aged men in fedora hats, rockers with tattoos up and down their arms, and tourists from California wearing white wife-beaters on their backs and Converse on their feet were sitting on a black couch and standing by the bar at…

Castle With a Moat in the Redland Selling for $10.9 Million

In South Florida, you can find a home fit for the King of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. No, really. For a cool $10.9 million, whether you’re a member of House Lannister, House Baratheon, or House Tully, you can stake your claim to the Redland’s Chateau Artisan, a 20,000-square-foot castle…

Why Marc Anthony Is “American as Apple Pie”

On the morning of September 11, 2001, the National League East was still up for grabs. Having taken three of four games against the Marlins, the third-place New York Mets squad was within five games of its division rival, the Atlanta Braves, and set to start a series against the…

Reader Mail: South Beach Towing Companies Are the Worst

Tow Nightmare Calling the feds: Why aren’t the feds looking into your investigation of South Beach towing companies and the politicians who help them (“Hustle & Tow,” Francisco Alvarado, August 8)? There’s gotta be something fishy going on in city hall, which is one of the reasons I and my…

Uncle Luke: Johnny Manziel Probe Is NCAA’s Worst Hypocrisy Yet

The NCAA is doing a great job maintaining its reputation as the sleaziest, most hypocritical sports organization in America. Texas A&M sophomore quarterback Johnny Manziel is reportedly its latest target because he might have profited from his John Hancock. A South Florida autograph broker allegedly paid Manziel a five-figure fee…

Free Johnny Manziel, Abolish the NCAA

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses the Johnny Football situation. The NCAA is doing a great job maintaining its reputation as the sleaziest,…

Ten Best Band Tees at Churchill’s T-Shirt Swap Meet

The frizz-haired Frank “Rat Bastard” Falestra rummaged through piles of T-shirts lined up against one of the pool tables at Churchill’s Pub. “This one right here,” the local legend said of a black and white cotton top he wore during a show, “is one of the most famous shirts in…

Scenes From Israel “Reefa” Hernandez-Llach Vigil (Photos)

Had he lived to see a court date, Israel “Reefa” Hernandez-Llach could have argued that his tagging of a derelict Miami Beach building at 71st Street and Collins Avenue was neither mischievous, malicious, destructive, nor damaging. He could have insisted he wasn’t a vandal at all. Instead, he died after…

Counting Down the Richest and Poorest Local Legislators

It’s the time of year when South Florida politicians must reveal their net worth to their constituents. So Riptide is here to let readers know which Miami-Dade state legislators are ballin’ like the Bawse at his King of Diamonds birthday party and which ones are probably living on a steady…

Ten Must-Have Items When Camping with Juggalos

Nate “Igor” SmithA juggalo photographed on Wednesday, the first day of The Gathering, 2013.At some point in your life, you may find yourself sitting in a minivan in rural Illinois, stressed out as you wear a metal butcher knife pendant around your neck. Your ankles are covered in mysterious goo…

Rev. Richard P. Dunn II Has Personal Debt Problems

For the past two weeks Rev. Richard P. Dunn II has been riding high following his legal victory over longtime nemesis Miami City Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones, preventing her from running for a third consecutive term — and thus allowing him to remove the biggest obstacle keeping him from reclaiming the…

Legalize Performance-Enhancing Drugs in Pro Sports

Miami native Alex Rodriguez is getting a raw deal from Major League Baseball. Since Miami New Times broke the mind-blowing story of Biogenesis, a now-defunct anti-aging clinic in Coral Gables that supplied human growth hormone, testosterone, and anabolic steroids to Rodriguez and scores of other players, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig…