Jacory Harris’s Head Is a Work of Art

Canes get cuts from Miami Hurricane on Vimeo.We were kind of hoping Jacory Harris would make good on his promise to grow out an Afro until the Canes won a national championship, but January 2011 is an awful long time to wait to trim your tresses. Instead, you’ll notice his intricate…

C’mon, A-Rod, Help Your ‘Roid-Fetching Cousin. He Has Kids!

Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is finally playing hero in the post-season. That whole notion of A-Rod-can’t-hit-in-the-clutch seems but a distant dream this October. Ditto for the steroid revelations that dominated sports pages this off-season and Spring Training. But Miamian Yuri Sucart, his cousin and right-hand man made infamous for…

It Never Gets Old: Henne Beat the Jets

Video remix gold, brought to my attention courtesy of “CK” on the comment board at finsnation.com, the Dolphins fan site partially run by Miami New Times sports guy Chris Joseph. This is already on repeat in my iPod.And I swear I’d tattoo the highlights of the game to the inside…

Hank Williams Jr. Sings in Spanish Tonight

The only way to make the Monday Night Football intro that will air tonight for the Dolphins-Jets game better (worse? more surreal? soulless?) is if Jimmy Buffett also sang in Spanish. But having Gloria Estefen beside Hank Williams Jr. as he belts out, “Estos listos para football?” is pretty damn…

Miami Dolphins Preview: Grudge Match

Tonight is the Judgment Day, Hour of Reckoning, massively hysterical, Road to Armageddon, cats-and-dogs-living-together apocalyptic showdown between the Dolphins and Jets at Land Shark Stadium. Here are three key factors:1. Rex Ryan Knows How to Stop the Wildcat, Can Eat an Entire X-Mas Ham: Yes, Jets head coach Rex Ryan acts like…

Weekend Football: Let the Band Play On

 FAMU Rattlers @ Miami Hurricanes, Saturday 7pm on ESPN 306 and WVUM 90.5 FMThe Fins will play Monday, but first will come the Canes vs. FAMU game this Saturday. Let’s hope the latter doesn’t turn into a notable matchup. There are a few story lines, but mostly “yawn.” The most…

Yet Another Canes Rap Song, This Time from Alum

After the Seventh Floor Crew’s smash hit “If Your Ho Only Knew,” and “Orange on one side, green on the other,” the Miami Hurricanes continue to be the best rap posse in college football. Rivals.com is hosting the “world premiere” of a new song by former players Gerard Daphnis and Dinavon “X1” Bythwood,…

Dwyane Wade Gets Owned

Oh, this is not good. We already had our star power-or-maybe-small forward of the future in a rehab facility for a full month; Lamar Odom waffled for three weeks and then chose L.A. over us (BTW: Notice how decisive he was when it came to marrying a Kardashian. We sent…

Update: Marlins Won’t Fire Fredi Gonzalez

Maybe Jeffrey Loria took Tim Elfrink’s advice and stopped acting like “a world-class moron.” Because according to an unnamed Associated Press source, Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez’s job is safe for now.The Marlins might not be ready to make the official announcement, but it seems all of yesterday’s hubbub might have been for…

Five Reasons the Olympics Will Never Come to Miami

Last week, Rio de Janeiro beat Chicago to host the 2016 Summer Olympics. Rio and Miami share many things, including tourism, beaches, and lots of South Americans. But here are five reasons the Magic City could never host the games: Public transportation: In a metropolitan area of more than 5.4…

Jacory Harris Puts Canes on Steady TV Diet of SpongeBob

Seems the Miami Hurricanes are well aware of everyone saying, “Well, let’s see how long this lasts before it goes to their heads and they screw up” — even though players and coaches alike are telling the media they still feel like underdogs.QB Jacory Harris has taken steps to ensure…

Dear Jeffrey Loria: Quit Acting Like a D-Bag and Leave Fredi Alone

Somewhere in a New York penthouse right now, Jeffrey Loria is angrily straightening a Picasso on his wall, swigging a vintage Chianti, and cursing loudly.His Marlins have missed the playoffs yet again. And Loria has decided it must be his manager’s fault. Loria’s front office leaked his fury all over…

Miami Dolphins Win: Champagne Breakfast for Everyone!

You might recall the Dolphins lately have been getting their asses dented on a week-to-week basis. This has directly led to an 0-3 start, a last-place standing in the AFC East, and Chad Pennington’s shoulder crumbling into powder before our eyes. Coming in to this week against the Buffalo Bills, all seemed lost…

Miami Dolphins Preview: The Robot Era Begins

We’ve had the worst luck with our quarterbacks since Dan Marino retied in 1999. And now, with Chad Pennington’s shoulder turning to shredded wheat last Sunday, it looks like the Chad Henne era is upon us sooner than anticipated. Henne comes with a rep for underachieving as a 4-year starter…

Weekend Football: Canes Take on Oklahoma, Fins Host Bills

Both of our beloved South Florida football teams desperately need a win this weekend. One to get momentum back on track, the other to try and start some. Will Land Shark be the host of two upset victories, or the site of thousands of disappointingly hung heads? Let’s make sense…