Even the Neo Cons Are Taking Luther Campbell Seriously

The folks over at conservative glossy The Weekly Standard think Luther Campbell’s run is serious enough to warrant a 7,228-word profile. Writer Matt Labash spent a considerable amount of time shadowing Campbell early in his campaign. Kudos to his editors for allowing him the space to explore the complexities that…

Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina Is Running Scared

For someone who is the presumed front runner in the race to become the new Miami-Dade Mayor, Julio Robaina is showing he has no backbone. He’s been conspicuously AWOL from candidate forums where he knows he’ll face a tough crowd and skipped out on his interview with The Miami Herald…

Five More Bizarre Dance Styles of the 21st Century

Crossfade loves a good laugh at the wonderful, weird range of human expression. Hence, last week’s deep anthropological studies on the phenomena that are these five crazy dances. Or the amazingness that is Mexican tribal guarachero and its related fashion. But that was just scratching the surface in the contemporary world…

Javier Souto Gives New Times A Shout Out

A Miami-Dade County commissioner wants us to know that $790,000 is a “little bit of money and not a whole lot.” During the May 3 discussion concerning the Public Health Trust’s executive board, Javier Souto digressed from one of his typical winded soliloquies on the role of county commissioners to…

Soulja Boy Officially Kills Hip-Hop Once and For All

​Despite repeated CPR attempts by Nas, it appears hip-hop officially flatlined last week, suffering a painful, humiliating death at the hands of an assailant known as Soulja Boy. The murderer suffers from a massive delusional disorder and he’s known for many inexplicable acts, such as smearing Wite-Out all over his sunglasses, basically…

Luther Campbell Talks About Real Election Reform

Luther Campbell doesn’t just have taxing strippers and decriminalizing marijuana on his mind. This past April 25, as he cruised from one special event to another in downtown Miami, the county mayoral candidate and New Times columnist offered up his plan for local government reform. “If you run for office,…

Five YouTube Songs Celebrating the Death of Osama Bin Laden

There’s no better way to express pure joy than the art of song. So when the news broke on Sunday that Obama had killed Osama, a giddy mob of superpatriotic Americans flocked to special spots like the White House, Ground Zero, and Times Square to musically convey its overwhelming excitement…

Top 5 Ways Restaurants Can Make a Bad First Impression

Some of the worst mistakes restaurants can make occur at the beginning of the dining experience or before you sit down. Many have to do with hosts and hostesses, but they are usually just  messengers delivering the repercussive news of bad management decisions.1. When you’re making a reservation by phone,…

Kid Rock Wins NAACP Award For No Apparent Reason, “Loves Black People”

Upon reading Billboard’s report that crappy rap-country mish-masher Kid Rock received a Great Expectations Award from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People on Sunday, our first reaction was, WTF? People still listen to Kid Rock? Our second thought was, WTF? How has Kid Rock advanced anything other than the general…

Miami-Dade’s Black Commissioners Have Failed the People

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke — who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding ex-Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez on May 24 — calls…

Today We Are All Proud Americans

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke praises George W. Bush, President Barack Obama, and the U.S. soldiers who took out Osama…

Bob Norman, Good-Bye!

My old buddy Bob Norman is shipping outta New Times Broward Palm Beach and heading for the TV news. Bob has been the franchise player at that paper for years — ably assisted by the likes of a staff that has included stars like Sam Eifling, Ed Newton, Tony Ortega,…

The Moon Is Out! Live Nation and Embrace Team Up for the Honeymoon Series

The Honeymoon Series begins this Saturday with Datsik, continuing with Zeds Dead May 6 and Borgore June 17. Back in the LSD-soaked ’60s, a big boxy San Francisco building named the Fillmore Auditorium was routinely overrun by love-crazed hippies, radical longhairs, speed-addled bikers, middle-aged beatniks, and endless other freaky types…