The Top 10 Dead Rock Stars Alive in Miami – With Videos!

“It’s the story of your life, and the end of it’s your death, and every word that’s in between is just a waste of breath.” – SubhumansTheir rotting, worm ridden flesh fills the air with the stench of death, but we just can’t help cracking the casket on our favorite…

Wednesday Blog Watch: Newish Sites to Check Out

A new year, a new chance to take a look at the local music/nightlife blogosphere. At the end of 2009, things looked bleak — many blogs had been neglected or completely abandoned. Maybe the new year will push people back towards it. Here are three sites worth checking out.*If you’re…

Wish You Were There: Phish’s NYE AAA Show on YouTube

While some people just don’t get that the wave of fan videos is unstoppable — hello Fontainebleau on New Year’s Eve, and the entire Universal Music Group — other bands have welcomed that kind of participation and sharing from the beginning. People have been trading concert tapes since the technology…

City Workers Stumping for Willy Gort Accused of Shenanigans

An election in Allapattah means accusations of monkey business abound.Mike Suarez, one of nine candidates in a winner-take-all special election January 12 to replace former City of Miami Commissioner Angel Gonzalez, claims two city workers broke election laws while campaigning for frontrunner Wilfredo “Willy” Gort over the Christmas holiday.”It’s an…

Concert Review: Blowfly at the Monterey Club, January 2

Blowfly With Jacuzzi Boys and Mr. Entertainment and the PookiesmackersSaturday, January 2, 2010The Monterey Club, Fort LauderdaleBetter Than: Rotten fish cunnilingus.The Review:Happy New Year! Out with the old, in with the new. Right? Not at the Monterey Club Saturday night. The new was in, no doubt about it, but the…

Moron of the New Year: Take a Bow, Bow Wow

Nothing like some uber-potent fresh-squeezed moronic behavior to make a hungover writer’s job easier. Last night Bow Wow — the crap-tastic rapper who insists he is no longer “Lil'” — flew into Miami, the nation’s undisputed celebrity-drunk-driving capitol, and drove his Lamborghini while trashed. With Chris Brown, whose very presence increases this…

Letters from the issue of December 31, 2009

Made My Day Role model: You wrote an excellent piece about Clint Eastwood (“Go Ahead, Make My Decade,” Scott Foundas, December 24). Mr. Eastwood is a brilliant man. He is a huge role model and an inspiration to everyone around. He is a special man that is truly blessed. Every…

Golden Beach Mayor Sticks By His Man, For Now

Golden Beach Mayor Glenn Singer says he has no intention of dumping town manager Alexander Diaz, who was recently arrested in Miami Beach for driving under the influence of alcohol. At least not until Singer gets back from vacation next week. “I don’t have all the facts yet,” Singer told Banana Republican…

How Does Cork Tenderize Octopus?

The long answer:An acquaintance of mine recently raved about a Mediterranean-style octopus dish she had at Talula. It was called “cork-braised” octopus, so her natural question to me, Mr. Restaurant Reviewer, was what effect the cork had. I answered confidently and forthrightly, as reviewers are supposed to do. “I don’t…

Golden Beach Manager Gets A Dewey For Christmas

​Golden Beach Town Manager Alexander Diaz was a very naughty boy this past December 25. Miami Beach police officers arrested the 31-year-old small city bureaucrat for driving under the influence of alcohol. According to the arrest report, Diaz attempted to drive off in his gray BMW SUV after informing one…

Concert Review: Sweet Bronco at Propaganda, December 26

Sweet Bronco with The Pretty Faces, A Hunters Pace, and Retrocities Saturday, December 26, 2009 Propaganda, Lake Worth Better Than: John Elway and John Wayne dodging ponies as rodeo clowns. As Sweet Bronco rocked the stage at Propaganda Saturday night, people were moved in various ways: Some shouted “Yeehaw!”, most…

What’s in Your Stocking? Your Morons of the Week!

South Florida’s hapless idiots are a tireless bunch. And since moronic behavior doesn’t take a week off for the holidays, we, your diligent Nimwit-Chasing I-Team, have to work overtime to keep up. We’re keeping it short this week, though — a shot glass full of Bacardi 151-strength moron-elixir to help…

FFF: Fruitcake

‘Tis the season to mock the poor fruitcake, arguably the most disrespected comestible of all time.”There is nothing dangerous about fruitcakes as long as people send them along without eating them.” ~Calvin Trillin”Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them.”…

New Miami City Commission Fails First Green Test

Miami’s Planning Advisory Board member Paul Mann is calling out the city commission. This past December 17, commissioners Frank Carrollo, Marc Sarnoff and Francis Suarez signed off on a plan to convert vacant city-owned park land at NW 14th Ave and 61st Street into residential units.The property is next door…

MP3 of the Day: Kid Cudi’s “Day ‘N’ Nite,” Remixed by Parable

Whenever the web seems to have reached its peak of weirdness, the whole thing whirlpools into entirely new dimensions of the bizarre, revealing secret worlds where you can watch celebrity breakdowns streamed live, read first-round NBA draft picks suicide tweets, or even e-shop for shrunken human heads. One of the…