Dear Elian, I’m writing to offer you a bit of the wisdom that was passed down to me by my Cuban abuelos, because after reading your comments in the interview you recently gave on the heels of your trip to Ecuador, I think it’s the least I can do for…
It’s humbling when your peers show appreciation for the work you’ve done. That’s why I am really honored that Miami’s Film, Recording and Entertainment Council will present me with its Lifetime Achievement Award during its tenth Star Gala this Saturday, December 14. If there’s one thing missing from my resumé,…
What’s With Wynwood? Editor’s note: Because last week was all about Art Basel, this week is all about Wynwood. It’s a flea market: Wynwood has been turned into a three-ring circus (“Whither Wynwood?” Michael Miller, December 5). With the food trucks, underage alcoholics, and people just looking for a good…
Fernando Madina, a Spanish rocker, got rowdy at Miami International Airport on his way to play a concert in Quito, Ecuador, and ended up in the clink. Madina was held for more than three days and then released early Tuesday after paying a $500 fine without charges. According to Cadena…
[Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Song: Eminem’s “The Monster,” featuring Rihanna History: Eminem did a freestyle battle. He went up against Papa Doc and choked. It was pretty sad. Then some more sad stuff happened to…
How do you spell hypocrite? Republican Florida Senator Marco Rubio and his family have signed up for Obamacare, the Tampa Bay Times is reporting. He is also accepting a federal subsidy to pay 75 percent of his health care — under the provisions of a bill that some Republicans wanted…
Richard Sharpstein, one of Miami’s most prominent defense attorneys, was found dead at his Miami Beach condo Tuesday morning. Sharpstein, who worked for Akerman Senterfitt, had handled some of Miami Dade County’s most high profile cases in a career that spanned four decades. He once represented disgraced Miami-Dade Commissioner Joe…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke talks about the lack of respect for his accomplishments It’s humbling when your peers show appreciation for the…
Late last month, an ebony-haired Miami bikini model twice materialized on the cover of the New York Daily News. “Match.con,” the first headline screamed beside a picture of Yuliana Avalos posing languidly in a brown bathing suit. The next day was even more salacious: “Death Match,” the cover bellowed. Both…
Nelson Mandela’s passing today makes me profoundly and horribly sad. He was a great man who suffered for his people during decades in prison. He was a brilliant orator who inspired a generation. He was a true hero in an era when we have painfully few. As I write this,…
Bon App�tit Magazine, you’ve changed. You aren’t as serious as you used to be. You’re using words like “awesome” in your headlines. You’re writing about Jay-Z and Beyonce’s vegan pledge. You made Dorito bread (?). And then when people threw shade at you for making Dorito bread, you posted a…
Whenever a celebrity athlete is accused of sexually assaulting a woman, it doesn’t take long for the media machine to declare him guilty. It’s happening to Florida State University star quarterback Jameis Winston, who stands accused of raping a Tampa Bay-area woman December 7, 2012. The alleged victim, who attended…
People Loved Our People Issue! Wanna nestle in her bosom: Love, love this article (“Lady Casa, PLUR Mama,” Kat Bein, November 21). “PLUR Mama” means more than just go-go dancing and sharing kandi bracelets. Lady Casa is a rave veteran who doesn’t mind sharing higher consciousness with others — helping…
Call it irony. On the single biggest day in Miami’s visually stunning history, as Art Basel begins and the Perez Art Museum opens on the bay, media announces a three-tower, 2-million-square-foot giant on the Miami River. Complaints have been lodged about naming the city’s art museum after the magnanimous Related…
[Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Here’s what you need to know about Robert Sylvester Kelly: He’s the fucking best. At singing. At wearing masks. At making videos of himself having sex. All of it. And so…
Starbucks has a secret menu. If that fact alone doesn’t blow your mind, the items on it most certainly will. We’re talking Willy Wonka Frappuccinos, chai cookie lattes, and Pixy Stix refreshers. It’s the stuff that sugar addicts’ dreams are made of. Though this isn’t an entirely new phenomenon (or…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke comes to the defense of a superstar college quarterback in Tallahassee. Whenever a celebrity athlete gets accused of…
As the disco ball spun and twinkled across the main ballroom to Modern English’s “I Melt With You,” dudes in blowouts, couples in puffy pink prom dresses and white suits, and Jon Bon Jovi doppelgangers got Footloose and partied like it was 1987. An arc of red, white, and yellow…
Time to arrest Jameis Winston. Despite the FSU football star and Heisman Trophy favorite’s claim that he had consensual sex with an unnamed girl, Tallahassee police and prosecutors have dawdled long enough. As you probably know, FSU’s football team climbed to number one in the nation this morning and will…
Courtesy of UniversalSheaface. [Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] The biggest concern in my life recently is that every show on my DVR is the regular definition version, rather than the high definition version. As you can…
This Thanksgiving, members of the “tribe” will experience a phenomenon that won’t (thankfully — pun intended) occur for the next 70,000 years. On Thursday, November 28, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah collide. This holiday-in-a-holiday has created a whirlwind of strange new pseudowords and souvenir items that mesh both occasions — with tragicomical…
It’s no secret that Miami is the party capital of the South, but the charm of our hardcore rep comes from the diversity of our party scene. For the uhntz-uhntz junkie who’s into poppin’ bottles of Hennessy, picking up European models, and pricey covers, you have the flashy streets of…
