New Party Rules for Millennials

Photo by Ian WitlenThe stage is THAT way. Jeez. Millennials, you still do all the drugs and have all the sex, but I have to break it to you — #realtalk — you do not know how to party. And it’s bringing me down. Heading over to what’s supposed to…

Save Charles Hadley Park

On August 1, 1947, white police officers evicted 35 black families from a Miami neighborhood so the city could create a park for whites. Rain destroyed the families’ possessions. A black newspaper called the evictions from the Railroad Shop Colored Addition “an act of total disregard,” and one of the…

Reader Mail: The Con Man, the Videogame, and the Skyscraper

Return of Con Kid Just imagine: Regarding the cover story about South Florida con man Jimmy Sabatino (“The Don of Con,” Terrence McCoy, November 14): He is a relative dope and managed to pull this off. Imagine how much crap Wall Street and the government are getting away with. Stan…

Keon Hardemon Makes Miami History

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke basks in his candidate’s victory. Miami’s African American community did something historic last night, electing the youngest city commissioner…

LOL at This Angry Letter From a “Directioner”

One Direction [Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning scribe and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Last week, I wrote about why One Direction’s “This Is My Story” sucks. Usually, whenever one of these pieces goes up (and they go up often), I get a…

It’s Time to Save Charles Hadley Park

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke makes a pitch for Miami’s Charles Hadley Park. University of Miami running back Duke Johnson. Former NFL wide…

The Six Ravers You Meet on EDM-Date.com

You know that feel when you’re at the rave get-down all by yourself and everyone around you has a spirit-hooded cuddle buddy? Big room drops just aren’t the same without someone to love, but never fear, edm-date.com is here! The sweet kandi gods of love did smile upon thee with…

The Vixens You Meet at a Twerk Concert

Flashing blue, purple, and white spotlights lit up the dark room. Bass-heavy beats from Rick Ross, Ace Hood, and Beyoncé blasted from the speakers. And an army of vixens in camo tank tops, ripped leggings, and sneaker wedges invaded Story Nightclub on Saturday with their weapons of mass twerk. We’re…

Mugshot Fridays: Selena Fan, Sisqo Wannabe, Troubled Goth Kid

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…

Jeb Bush Changes Mind on Presidential Run. Can He Beat Hillary?

The word hit the street yesterday: Jeb Bush, who not long ago seemed out of the presidential race, has a 30 percent chance of running. A key question is whether moderate Chris Christie can lose 50 pounds falters. Politico reported yesterday morning that Wall Street insiders were talking about Bush…

Reader Mail: Wynwood Club Crapola

Murder Most Risqué Sublimate and stab: Regarding the feature story about the murderous porn star John Snavely (“Champ,” Michael E. Miller, October 31): Obviously Snavely was an escort as well. This article seemed to be beating around the bush. Many strippers also escort. And he wasn’t tricked into gay porn…

Richard Dunn’s Pathetic Attempt to Defeat Keon Hardemon

Rev. Richard P. Dunn II is a desperate man. He thought he would cruise to an easy victory in the race to represent Miami’s predominantly black district on the city commission. Instead, he will limp into the November 19 runoff against assistant public defender Keon Hardemon, who received twice as…

Meat Market: Now Serving Lunch (Photos)

Meat Market, the Lincoln Road restaurant helmed by chef Sean Brasel, opened for dinner five years ago. Now, for the first time since its inception, you can also dine there for lunch. Short Order was recently invited to try their new offerings. Check out more details and pictures after the…

One Direction’s “Story Of My Life”: Why This Song Sucks

Courtesy of Columbia/SycoZayn and the crew [Editor’s Note: In his column Serrano Time, award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times.] Song: One Direction’s “Story Of My Life” History: A long time ago there were barber shop quartets and then after that the New Kids On…

Love-Child Daddy Dan Marino to “Restore Respect” to Dolphins

Try not to laugh when you read this. The Dolphins, whom the Bucs clobbered last night, are in an obvious tailspin. So now, following l’affaire Incognito, team owner Stephen Ross, who solemnly declared himself “appalled” yesterday, has assembled a few Men of Honor to Restore Respect to the Dolphins. These…

Richard P. Dunn II Is Getting as Nasty as He Wants to Be

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke has a few choice words about a Miami City Commission candidate. Rev. Richard P. Dunn II is a…

Tobacco Road Turns 101! Ten Classic Moments From Miami’s Oldest Bar

Guys with dark beads, black Holly Hunt T-shirts, and red paisley and Hawaiian flower pattered button downs, ladies in long black and white printed dresses, pink shorts, and leopard tops, and former local rock stars crowded 626 South Miami Avenue on Friday for Tobacco Road’s 101st Anniversary Bash. Celebrating just…