Since America began closing mental institutions in 1955, the streets have been deluged with mentally unbalanced individuals unable to care for themselves. (Blame JFK for that guy you see on your way to work every morning, who sits at the curb mumbling about spacemen and radioactive jelly beans.)As I am…
The longest series Miami New Times has run during my 14 years here is Pain & Gain, a Pulp Fiction like story about crazy weightlifters who couldn’t even get it right when they cut up bodies and dumped them in the Everglades.I spent the last few weeks tracking down those…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. Today, Luke stands up for Metta World Peace.I have a message for NBA overlord David Stern: Free Metta World Peace…
For Barbara Jordan, blood is thicker than water. How else can the Miami-Dade County commissioner justify the $5,000 her reelection campaign paid to the company owned by her sister Sandy Walker, a once-powerful lobbyist who five years ago pleaded guilty to defrauding the county?In a recent interview with Banana Republican,…
Reader Mail: Carlos Gimenez Is a Catastrophe
Holograms: Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, and Kurt Cobain Onstage
New Times‘ “Pain and Gain”: Murder, Drugs, and a Major Motion Picture
Driving on NE 163rd Street in North Miami Beach, you can’t help but notice that several shopping centers contain sex shops that boldly proclaim their wares. And for 22 years, city officials long ignored a local law that prohibited three strip clubs from serving alcohol alongside naked dancers. Anyone visiting…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke marvels at the technology that brought Tupac back to life. The lifelike image of Tupac Shakur performing…
According to the Chinese zodiac, 2012 is the Year of the Dragon, but it should be renamed the “Year of the Salmon–ella outbreak and consequent civil suits.”Too long?Two lawsuits due to salmonella poisoning have been filed against Taco Bell this year. The second lawsuit, also filed by Marler Clark, the…
Last Monday, Banana Republican came across a glossy flyer on our windshield that featured a photo of President Barack Obama next to the now iconic image of Trayvon Martin wearing his hoodie. Printed below the slain teen’s chin were the commander-in-chief’s statement on March 23, “If I had a son,…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
The makers of Marley’s Mellow Mood, a beverage meant to relax the human soul, might want to consider adding a more potent chilling-out agent to the recipe. Because the drink is made in partnership with some members of reggae icon Bob Marley’s family, we suggest something closer to ganja, because…
Mayor Carlos Gimenez Is a Failure
Reader Mail: Neo-Nazis and Black Extremists Can Go to Hell
Miami New Times and New Times Broward-Palm Beach seek a part-time copyeditor and proofreader. The ideal candidate must have excellent copyediting skills and the ability to work steadily and efficiently under deadline. Some familiarity with Adobe software preferred. Top candidates will be given a rigorous copyediting test. This position will…
The Carlisle Development Group sure knows how to show gratitude to Audrey Edmonson. The Miami-based affordable housing developer ponied up $15,000 in contributions to the Miami-Dade County commissioner’s reelection campaign, according to her recently filed campaign finance report. Edmonson has been instrumental in helping Carlisle land a couple of key…
Today is the deadline to pay the piper. Meet the deadline or dump a considerable portion of your blood, sweat and toil to the IRS.That’s why restaurants across Miami are stepping up on your bedraggled behalf during on this national day of mourning to provide some cheap chow. Or maybe…
Luther Campbell, the man whose booty-shaking madness made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke assesses his old campaign foe’s sorry job performance.During almost ten months in office, Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez has…
How adorable are Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, y’all? They’re like the cutest rebound couple ever! But don’t remind Kim’s stepfather, former Olympian-turned-cosmetic-surgery-disaster Bruce Jenner, that they’re dating. TMZ reports that Jenner was at a speaking engagement at Northeastern University when someone in the crowd asked the former track star…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Oh my god, bruh. On Wednesday, the world was blessed with a rare speech, straight from the heart of the swag-est, most gorgeous rapper alive, Lil B the Based God. Some people said he didn’t deserve to speak at prestigious NYU, but he proved them wrong with an hour and…
