I don’t like the online activist group Color of Change. The namby-pamby, can’t-we-all-just-get-along-as-long-you’re-a-vegan, Obama-loving, Christian-hating, war-protesting, Democratic-donkey-defending, liberal members are all a bunch of imbeciles.I know that’s a pretty broad generalization. And I’m sure you’re cursing me right now…
On Monday evening, the season eight premiere of No Reservations took Anthony Bourdain to Mozambique.The next morning, I blogged that the episode was a departure from Bourdain’s usually snarky worldview. A few hours later, Bourdain tweeted the following:…
Campaign finance reports for January, February, and March are in for the local county races. So who’s funneling cash to Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez and his main opponent, County Commission Chairman Joe Martinez?If money is any indicator, Martinez has a long haul ahead of him. For the past three months,…
Reader mail: Rapist cop Michael Ragusa could have been stopped
DJ Laz: Booty Music Pioneer
When we last saw him, Steven Tyler had turned into a 63-year-old grandma who’d gotten lost on a sandbar. Well, the Aerosmith frontman is back in the tabloid blogosphere for his bod. Only this time it’s got nothing to do with his grams gams. No, Steven Tyler has completely fucking…
Poor Ozzie Guillen. Baseball season just got started and already the Miami Marlins skipper has inserted his foot in his mouth.The controversial Venezuelan born manager had the audacity to praise Cuban dictator Fidel Castro in an upcoming issue of Time magazine and all hell has broken loose in Miami’s hardline…
Forget farm-to-table. Back-yard-to-table is the next big thing. If you ever thought the car ride from the farmers’ market to your kitchen was too long, there’s great news. Williams-Sonoma announced last week it would sell chicken coops, beehives, edible gardens, and even DIY cheese kits. The Agrarian line is already available…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke opines on DJ Laz’s departure from Power 96 and the death of FM radio.When my homeboy, Lazaro…
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Reader mail: Hungry, broke Miamians aren’t into the Marlins and the new stadium
Trayvon Martin’s Legacy: Maybe Blacks Will Start Voting
Riptide reported yesterday that a 47-year old woman was arrested in a prostitution sting operation in southwest Florida. That sounds like a typical evening for any police department. Except the woman requested a very specific trade-off for her services. According to the police report, Christine Faith Baker’s fee for sex…
Lamarckism, the idea that a person can pass on traits acquired in life to their offspring, has been around since the early 1900s. In 2012, however, it’s triggered a revival in the worst way. Some asshole thinks it might be a good idea to form the Beatles – Next Generation,…
Hipsters and dog owners in midtown and downtown can now rejoice. Publix has finally opened a convenient location in the Omni area. No longer will denizens have to visit the jam-packed outpost on Biscayne at 48th Street. The new location, at 1776 Biscayne Blvd., features both a liquor store and…
We’re not entirely sure why, but it seems that all of popular culture is rebelling against Madonna. Talk show hosts, contemporary pop stars, and LARPers have all had something nasty to say about The Queen of Pop over the past few months. In fact, the snark has been so intense,…
Mary J. Blige has been through a lot. She’s a powerhouse of feminine strength and wisdom; a shining beacon of exemplary light for us girls everywhere. She killed it at Jazz in the Gardens, but apparently she took time out to make some deals with another Miami resident, Burger King…
It was exactly ten years ago yesterday that cunnilingus got its very own theme song. On April 2, 2002, Tampa stripper-turned-rapper Khia released her would-be hit, “My Neck, My Back (Lick It),” a three minute and 42-second long tribute to the orally-induced female orgasm. Today however, it’s not Khia’s neck,…
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for. This week, Luke says African-Americans need to march to the polls on Election Day.For more than two weeks, tens of thousands of African-Americans…
The Miami Marlins chief munchkin wants to show South Florida what a tough little Ironman he is. Team President David Samson is going to run 50 miles on April 27, from Pompano Beach to Coral Gables, in honor of the 5,000 workers who built the new Marlins Stadium. We’re sure…
A prominent African-American builder just got a sweet bailout from Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez and the county commission. On March 20, commissioners quietly approved Gimenez’s request to pay off $400,000 that Otis Pitts Jr. owes in property taxes on a complex he owns on NW 62nd Street at Seventh Avenue.The…
Miami New Times staff writer Gus Garcia-Roberts has been named a finalist in the Investigative Reporters & Editors contest for 2012. His series on Florida’s $150 million McKay scholarship program, which hands out money with virtually no supervision, was cited by judges in the small newspaper/online category.The winner in the…
